Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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