Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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