he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
