the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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