So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
