i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
