Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
is it fun? or sober?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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