You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
