I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it hurts more in the daytime
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
