When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
