Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
