so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
