at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
