I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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