Christians are straight up FREAKS
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption