Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song