i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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