oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
