All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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