i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
