hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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