She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
