just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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