...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
