It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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