Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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