when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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