Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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