Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
