Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
