This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
