franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
