Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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