I will die if light touches me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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