Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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