Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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