im drinking this country out of the recession.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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