oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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