Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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