Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
