I can't watch pbs sober anymore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
did i walk over a car last night?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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