You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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