I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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