am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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