Me too!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well you can't waste a boner
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
