He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im holly from the hills drunk
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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