so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
