i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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