I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
