Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
