i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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