people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
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I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize