I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
