anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
