I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
