Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
