Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
