WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
