I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
