My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
